I had an a-ha moment about authentic energy this week. Maybe you can relate.
I was sitting in a mastermind group where a woman was sharing her story.
She spoke of her goal to create a profitable business. She talked about her desire to share tools with like-minded women who were in need of self-care. And then she really got going.
“I’m here in midlife. I’ve been through all the business building and market strategizing that the gurus are selling. I sat through one pitch, where it was nothing but fear mongering, and buy, buy, buy! It was nauseating. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t have time for that in my life. I just want to create quality resources for people that really want what I have to offer.”
OMG … YES!
I’ve been feeling that too. It’s been building over the past couple of years.
Let’s start this story with masculine and feminine energy
Before I dive deeper, I want to get into masculine and feminine energy. This has nothing to do with gender. It has everything to do with being.
Every single one of us has a masculine and feminine side. Yin and yang. Hard and soft. It’s like a dance; sometimes you lead, and sometimes you follow.
Your masculine side comes out when you have goals to work and tasks to complete. It’s about getting things done and moving forward.
Your feminine side comes out with the flow of life. It’s about letting your creative side shine through. It’s when you play, dance, or explore. It’s about establishing all the little things that make a life worth living.
You can’t be all masculine – it’s exhausting.
You can’t be all feminine – you’d never get anything done.
There’s a fine balance of the two to create the perfect you.
Where masculine and feminine collided
I bet I’m like a lot of Gen X women.
I was raised with the notion that I could be anyone, do anything. Yep, I could bring home the bacon (tempeh bacon, of course 🙂 ), fry it up in a pan. Why choose one path when you could have it all!
And I tried. Oh, how I tried. Bachelor’s degree. Master’s degree. Climbed the corporate ladder. Jumped ship and started my own business.
Up, up, up I climbed, checking things off my to-do list so fast it made my head spin.
I worked with and learned from some amazing men along the way. On so many occasions I was the only woman in the room.
And I LOVED it! I’m a go-getter, ready to conquer the world.
I had goals upon goals. I pasted them all over my walls. I vision boarded, manifested, and multi-tasked every single thing I did.
I could do the job of three women, all before I picked my daughter up from school.
Learning in that manner set my masculine energy on fire. To be able to do it like the guys, I had to BE the guys.
But along the way, I also asked questions. When the guys said, “Sometimes you have to work 24 hours a day,” my comeback was, “What about putting the kids to bed or baking cookies for the bake sale?” They looked at me like I’d grown horns from my head.
So I did what other women like me did – I squeezed EVERYTHING in.
I could set goals, create plans, build programs, and hold meetings … all from the convenience of my car as I was waiting in carpool lane.
Sleep? Who needs sleep? That just wastes a few extra hours after everyone else went to bed.
Yep, you see where this is going.
Finding authentic energy
Two things happened as I moved into my fifties.
First, I started questioning everything. When my dad died of a massive heart attack at fifty-four, it put a target on my calendar. Fifty-four became a VERY BIG number.
The closer I got to the date, the more panic set in. Internally, of course. My subconscious brain was very busy, putting detours and road hazards in my path, trying to tell me I needed to change.
Second, I started feeling like a fake. I’d built multiple businesses, written books, and spoken on stages. I’d done everything I’d set out to do … but I no longer wanted to continue.
Ugh! I was tired!
And looking at go-getter millennial women who were following in my footsteps only made me MORE exhausted.
I felt like I was responsible for blazing trails and establishing goals I knew would wear them out. I’d been a part of a movement that taught the next generation of women they could have everything. And I suddenly believed it wasn’t true.
I knew what was important. Most important.
Health. Relationships. Contentment.
Feeling like I was in a place where I truly wanted to be.
That’s what I wanted to show the world.
I wanted authenticity with my life. A little yin and yang. Balance. Worthiness. Feeling genuine in my daily practices.
So I started looking at what was most important.
I learned from my dad … It was all about health. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually.
So I dug deep, and discovered my authentic energy.
The part that craves running a business, writing, and ticking off goals a mile long. (Yep, can’t take any of that away from my authentic energy.)
And it also includes the part that wants to share my love of great, healthy food, create huge time slots for self-care each day, and show up completely for those most important in my life.
That’s the real me. That’s who I want to be. Authentic energy means showing up every day and:
- Be true to myself – create my own internal morals and codes that allow me to do and be who I am.
- Be a thinker before doing – critical thinking skills are so rare these days. Authentic energy means to first find your own internal answers before finding a way to fit into the community.
- Be kind – this isn’t the “in your face spraying positive quotes out to the world” kindness. Instead, it’s about building kindness internally first. If you do everything from a kind heart, it shows up in the way people respond.
- Live for today – yesterday is cement, tomorrow is far away, but today I can control. I choose how I show up today. What I do. How I take charge of my day. What I eat. Who I speak to. The message I share. I pay attention to what’s in my life today, without the emphasis on what I don’t have or haven’t achieved.
- See a brighter future – doom and gloom gets you nowhere. That’s why I’ve started living by seeing myself at 100, then treating myself in such a way that creates a happy, healthy 100 year old. I do today what it’ll take to get me there. Because here’s the thing:
Eating healthy takes work. Eating poorly takes work.
Exercise takes work. Sitting on the couch takes work.
Critically thinking takes work. Following others takes work.
It’s all work. It’s just your approach that matters most.
And that’s where your authentic energy comes into play.
You choose what it looks like.
You choose how it adds to your wellth. Whether it creates a healthy you … or one you’re not-so-happy with.
Authenticity is the real you.
Authentic energy comes from being in touch with that inner you.
What does your authentic energy say about you?